From toilets on buses to the infamous spaghetti harvest, Switzerland is well known for its April Fools' jokes. 2024 was no different, with the Swiss media and international companies coming up with funny fake stories that tread the uncanny valley to perfection. Here are some of our favourites for this year:
“You’re listening to 104.7 SBB, CFF, FFS, FM”: according to a statement, the national public transport provider in Switzerland is set to launch its own radio station on April 22. SBB promised the station would be packed full of the “best railway songs” - perhaps The Locomotion and Morning Train (Nine to Five) played on a loop - “useful information about public transport and interesting facts about the history and development of the railway system.”
SBB explained that their decision to launch a radio station was based on passengers' habits, whose headphones often mean they miss train announcements. Sadly, the idea proved to be nothing more than a gag, bringing a tear to the eye of many a Swiss train nut.
Heading to the airport but don’t want to go through the hassle of passports, security and having to wait to get on the flight? According to a statement from Geneva Airport, passengers will soon be able to rent go-karts to get them to the plane on time and at high speed.
All they need, according to the airport, is a driving licence, helmet and the willingness to wear a seatbelt - and perhaps sacrifice their dignity:
In a bid to better serve the community, the police in Winterthur, Canton Zurich announced that it would be replacing its 20-year-old patrol cars with “climate-friendly light motor bicycles.” The small bikes, more kid than officer-size, will be used to carry out spontaneous patrols around the city.
Those worried about being caught by the mounted police should relax, as currently, the two-wheelers have a maximum speed of 20 km / h, and any police chase would likely be slowed by a constable’s heavy lunch or a slight hill.
With the weather getting warmer and the climate becoming more of a concern, it’s more important than ever to make sure that local wildlife is getting all the help it can. However, the region of Val Surses Savognin Bivio, Canton Graubünden has decided to go one step further: allowing two Norwegian orcas to come a live in the local lake.
Video: Val Surses Savognin Bivio / YouTube
If you find yourself at work preparing a meeting on digitally and sustainably transforming evolving market centres and consumer interest factors, after attending a seminar on gently juxtapositioning sensual thought processes and inclusive goal-oriented meal visualisations, relief could soon be on the way. In a statement, the Swiss Party for Rational Politics, General Human Rights and Participation has called for a special tax to be placed on “buzzwords.”
All “inflationary” uses of buzzwords such as digitalisation, sustainability, resilience and inclusion would be subject to the charge. The party wrote that it hoped that the plan would improve the quality of debate in Switzerland and “promote the sustainable use of language” - whoops, that’s a franc in the tin.
Finally, in a bid to secure more medals at the upcoming Summer Olympic Games, an organisation in Switzerland has announced that hiking would become the latest sport to feature in the games. With four million hikers said to travel on Swiss hiking trails every year, maybe the alpine nation could be to hiking what Jamaica is to sprints.