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Too wet for me: The funniest Google reviews of Lucerne revealed
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Too wet for me: The funniest Google reviews of Lucerne revealed

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© 2025 IamExpat Media B.V.
© 2025 IamExpat Media B.V.
Dec 24, 2022
Jan de Boer

Editor at IamExpat Media

Jan studied History at the University of York and Broadcast Journalism at the University of Sheffield. Though born in York, Jan has lived most of his life in Zurich and has worked as a journalist, writer and editor since 2016. While he has plunged head-first back into life in Switzerland since returning to the country in 2020, he still enjoys a taste of home at pub quizzes and karaoke nights.Read more

As a top tourist destination, Lucerne has more than its fair share of excellent online reviews of its streets, museums, historical sites and mountains. However, not everyone seems keen on the Swiss city, as these avant-garde and frankly quite ridiculous Google reviews show. From a lake being too wet to a bridge being too long, here are some of our favourites.

Lake is too wet and the river has no WiFi: The best reviews of Lucerne

First, let us turn to the stunning Lake of Lucerne. Connecting the city with a number of charming towns and mountains, the lake is an excellent place to relax, travel and swim. 

However, that was not the case for one reviewer, who admitted that while it was a very nice lake, “unfortunately, it is a bit too wet for me." This was echoed by another person who said it was “unfortunately, a little wet”. Whether they would prefer a trip to the Aral Sea remains to be seen. 

The River Reuss was also not immune to bad reviews, with a one-star review lamenting that on the river, “there is no free WiFi”. In a more confusing message, one reviewer said that the Reuss was “good, though I’ve never been there,” giving the river one-star on Google regardless.

Chapel bridge in Lucerne is too long and ugly say Google reviews

Elsewhere, on the famous Chapel Bridge - whose splendour greets some arrivals on the underground at Zurich Airport - while many were impressed by the stunning architecture and murals, others were not so sold.

Crossing the 204-metre expanse of river, one user said that it was “too long to walk”, while another gave the bridge one-star, simply calling it a “Wooden bridge (old), stop.” One called it “ugly," although much like the river, the reviewer had "never been there.”

DJ-less churches and lack of things to do on Swiss mountains criticised on Google

The stunning Jesuit Church on the banks of the river also caused much ire amongst some reviewers. Despite earning an average of 4,6 out of 5 on Google, some were not fans of the architecture and wanted to make their feelings known.

“Old church (one star),” were the succinct thoughts of one netizen. Another gave the church a three-star review for a “great buffet” - although they probably reviewed the wrong building. The nearby church of St. Leodegar was also given one star, with one person saying it was “a bit boring without the DJ.”

Not even the mountains were safe from the bad reviews, with nearby Titlis earning a one-star rating after a user asked “What things r there to do?” One concluded that the mountain had “a very bad smell” as it wasn’t clean on the top.

Lucerne Tourisms sees the funny side of the bad Google reviews

For their part, Lucerne Tourism saw the fun side, with head of communications Sibylle Gerardi telling 20 minuten that “we do not receive any complaints from attraction operators about negative online reviews." She said that while the reviews are amusing, people should look to other sources of information before deciding whether to visit the city.

Have you got a funny Google review of Switzerland that you would like to share? Let us know in the comments below!

By Jan de Boer